The Weight Doesn't Have to be Heavy

Last night as Kurty and I walked home we did what we normally do after each day. We debriefed about the different things we had talked about and discussed in class. The topics last night were things like war, pacifism, and God’s calling. We discuss the stuff that is presented to us in class and then weigh in with each other the things we were thinking or have thought about since the class. This is great for me because I struggle to contribute much to the discussions because I think things through a lot slower than the class pace goes. Also, a lot of times I want to talk about something that would probably get us way off topic. Being able to talk to Kurty about it all helps me to grasp the concepts and my opinion as well as the practical application it may have for me. That is what I love about talking with Kurty. She and I always get to the point of what does any of it mean for me, how should it change my behavior, or affect my lifestyle when I return home specifically to our environment.

I realized that I’ve been presented with enough heavy and controversial issues this semester to fill a swimming pool. It’s all a bit heavy and a bit overwhelming trying to store it all in my head and figure out my stance and response to every thing. I understand why they say re-entry is harder than entry. It makes coming back seem to loom larger every time I look ahead, but as my mom has said, “knowing that possibility is half the battle.” I've realized for me to look at it as this burden I have to sift through and drag around in is skewed. What an opportunity I have! God has blessed me with these tough issues to struggle through so that I can respond. Heck yea!!

I have a feeling that all I’ve been learning here will really come clear in the months after I return. It’s hard to put a finger on life lessons I’ve learned or how I’ve grown and changed since being here. I think those closest to me will be able to see those things better than even I will. I can say for sure however, that I have definitely grown. In maturity, understanding, wisdom, and truth (not to mention waist size with all those carbs!). It’s like I can feel this next layer of growth being put on me. I don’t know how to explain it, but I feel it because how can you come to something like this and not change.

I know I've been severely blessed through this opportunity and I don't want to miss using what I've learned and how I've changed to glorify God. It is exciting for me to come back and see where God is wanting me to go to or change or become. It's all so exciting too because I know that God is pumped about it all and about me continuing to grow and learn from him! As Kurty always says, "we're just living the GRAND ADVENTURE." It gives me goosebumps just thinking about it that way. It makes me want to take every next step with Him. Hallelujah!

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble (or adventures) of its own. Matthew 6:33-34